Hedgehog

Death, dying cats, music and compassion

On my way to put Bizzy to sleep, I was a wreck. I could barely see, I was crying so much, but trying to keep it together to be calm for Bizzy. As I turned into the road leading up to the vet's office, Tom Waits's cover of Springsteen's "Jersey Girl" was playing on public radio. I don't know why, but Tom Waits and Jersey Girl was just what I needed at that moment. I sat in the car and listened until the end. Then went in.

I won't go into the details, except that these people were among the most compassionate I've ever experienced, outside of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore (where my mother was treated for cancer many years ago). They always called her Sweetheart and said how pretty she was and petted and kissed her. I paid for the procedure before they got her for me. I'd seen people at other facilities come out and pay afterwards - how hard that must be.

When I came out of the office to leave, they were discreetly away from the desk, until I went back into the lobby. They said they would call me in about two weeks. Back in the car, the radio station was playing a set of songs about angels. And later, "Circle of Life" from the Lion King. I emailed them and thanked them for their selections that day and told them how much they'd helped. I actually received two replies from them, one from Customer Service and one from the Program Director, both thanking me for thoughts and expressing sympathy about Bizzy.

Later, the vet's office sent me a sympathy card, along with a printout of something called Rainbow Bridge, about your animals waiting for you on the other side. Of course it makes you cry.

When they called me last week, they said "We have Isabel here and you can pick her up any time." Not "her ashes" or anything like that. Her.

I will get two cats or kittens very soon. After my younger cat Julius died, I didn't want to traumatize Bizzy with another cat in the house. But now, of course I will. I rescued Bizzy after a cat died. I rescued Julius from the street. There are so many out there, and even though you know the risk, how can you not let these little beings into your life?

posted by Isabelle Mauvaise @ 10:10 AM